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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Committing to Marriage

"Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work." ~Author unknown

The definition of a marriage is  the social institution in which a man and a woman establish their decision to live as a husband and a wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, or by other means, according to Webster. However, those of us who are married, know there is much more to marriage than this definition. If you are married, or even in a relationship, you know marriage involves thoughtfulness of another person and sometimes even conflict. Marriages take more than just the definition of a social institution and legal commitments; marriages take energy and work!

A marriage is a commitment both parties have to work at. However, making time for your spouse can be hard, especially if you have children. Marriage has to not only be a commitment, but a priority in your life in order for it to work.

Now, how do you keep your connection with your spouse or even deepen that connection in order to make that connection solid?

One place to start, especially if your marriage is even a little bit rocky (and even if its not), is to talk about your expectations of a marriage. What does it mean to have a connection with your spouse? These are also good to review often to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page with regards to what your marriage should look like. Make sure to be honest with your spouse about your expectations.

Be positive and notice the positives of your spouse. No one wants to be around someone who is negative or nagging all the time. Make sure to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them and the things they are doing to help out. Sometimes this means overlooking some of the things our spouse does that drive us nuts!

Also, make sure you are having fun! Dates nights are always great. It may take a little effort, but it will allow that much needed alone time with your spouse to rekindle the those feelings you had when you first got married. Once you are married, that does not mean you have to stop dating. It just means you date the same person for the rest of your life.

Reading books are also another great way to deepen your relationship with your spouse. You can read books about relationships or even books about other topics and discuss those as well. One of my favorite books is, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is a great book to purchase and keep around your house and use to refresh your memory often too.

Do you have any other great marriage books you would like to share? Please do so by commenting below.

Marriage is worth the time and effort it takes to make it work. It can even be exciting too, but you do have to put forth the effort to make it fun and exciting. You have to choose to make your marriage work.

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