Self-esteem means having respect for oneself. We can have both high, or positive, self-esteem and low, or negative, self-esteem.
Teenagers often struggle with self-esteem because they are put under much peer pressure. It is important for teenagers to realize it is okay to be like others, but only when they want to and can respect themselves while doing whatever it is their friends are doing.
How do you get self-esteem? Figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Don't compare yourself to others, but truly figure out what are your strengths and your weaknesses. Then you can set realistic goals for yourself. Plan for times when you cannot meet those goals or you mess up and make the wrong decision. Have a backup plan. Celebrate your strengths-when you accomplish something, allow yourself time to be happy about those times.
Only you know what is best for you. When you respect yourself, know your strengths and know your weaknesses, it can help you avoid making a poor decision. When you know your weaknesses, it can help you plan for things you don't need to do. If you know your strengths, then you can play off of those things and gain success. Also, if you need help in making a decision, you can always ask someone-a parent, a teacher, a counselor. Adults want to help you make the best decision, and asking for help does not mean you are incompetent. Even adults have to ask for help from time to time.
It's not always easy changing your self-esteem and making it more postive. It is hard work and may take some practice, but it is worth it in the end to respect yourself!
You make yourself a success, not something you do. Good luck, and please contact me if you need any further information about developing self-esteem.
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Stress and Spirituality
Spirituality has been shown to be helpful in the reduction of smoking, drugs and alcohol use. Spiritual people also have more positive relationships. People with spiritual beliefs volunteer more and are more likely to forgive as well. Spiritual people have also been shown to be able to better cope with stressful life situations.
Spirituality helps people realize they are not in control of the world, which helps them to better cope with those stressful events in life better because they do not worry about those events as much. It also reduces their likelihood of becoming depressed because they know something bigger than themselves is in control.
How does this work? Well, religious people have a built in support system, which aids in increasing pleasurable activities and happiness. Not only are the getting support from others, but they are providing support for others as well, which gives them a sense of purpose.
Religion also provides people with rules. I know, the dreaded "R" word "Rules". Really if we think about it, we all want rules and like rules because it protects us and provides us with safety. When we follow the rules it allows our lives to be healthy and it also gives us a sense of accomplishment.
Furthermore, religion gives us hope. Hope relieves stress and allows us to cope better with stressful situations.
So, if you aren't involved in any religious activities or group, I would encourage you to do so, especially if you are already feeling stressed. It may just help you reduce your stress and provide you with a community filled with hope.
Spirituality helps people realize they are not in control of the world, which helps them to better cope with those stressful events in life better because they do not worry about those events as much. It also reduces their likelihood of becoming depressed because they know something bigger than themselves is in control.
How does this work? Well, religious people have a built in support system, which aids in increasing pleasurable activities and happiness. Not only are the getting support from others, but they are providing support for others as well, which gives them a sense of purpose.
Religion also provides people with rules. I know, the dreaded "R" word "Rules". Really if we think about it, we all want rules and like rules because it protects us and provides us with safety. When we follow the rules it allows our lives to be healthy and it also gives us a sense of accomplishment.
Furthermore, religion gives us hope. Hope relieves stress and allows us to cope better with stressful situations.
So, if you aren't involved in any religious activities or group, I would encourage you to do so, especially if you are already feeling stressed. It may just help you reduce your stress and provide you with a community filled with hope.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Parenting Tips
We would all like to think the children we raise listen to everything we teach them and abide by the rules they are taught, but we all know this isn't always the case. However, if we are modelling, not simple just telling them the things we are asking of them, they may understand and abide by these pricinples more readily. They will have a greater chance at making better decisions in the future.
Also, talk with your children. Don't just talk at them, talk with them. Furthermore, listen to your children because it will allow them to come to your more readily when they have an issue they need to talk about. Being a good listener means making eye contact with your child and not interuppting him or her, but it also means asking questions to make sure you are clear on what they are saying.
Children need choices as well. To foster independence and defend against rebellion, offer your child choices instead of demanding he or she do something. With this idea, you must know you are the parent and so must your child. You have the final say because you are the parent, but make sure to first offer a reasonable choice. Don't let your child negotiate the choices. Stand firm to what you have said.
Hope these tips help. If you would like specific parenting tips, please leave a comment below.
www.beasleycounselingservices.com
Also, talk with your children. Don't just talk at them, talk with them. Furthermore, listen to your children because it will allow them to come to your more readily when they have an issue they need to talk about. Being a good listener means making eye contact with your child and not interuppting him or her, but it also means asking questions to make sure you are clear on what they are saying.
Children need choices as well. To foster independence and defend against rebellion, offer your child choices instead of demanding he or she do something. With this idea, you must know you are the parent and so must your child. You have the final say because you are the parent, but make sure to first offer a reasonable choice. Don't let your child negotiate the choices. Stand firm to what you have said.
Hope these tips help. If you would like specific parenting tips, please leave a comment below.
www.beasleycounselingservices.com
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Innocence of In-laws
So my sister-in-law wanted me to address the topic of in-laws! I guess she is trying to tell me something? No, I have good in-laws, and we all get along well or at least I hope so!
Anyway, when dealing with your in-laws it can be difficult because sometimes they can get in your business. For example, they may be telling you how to raise your children or how your marriage should work or telling you how you should clean your house. So in dealing with these things, you should be honest with your in-laws about how you are feeling. Let them know you are hurt by their comments or angry at them for trying to run your life, instead of enlisting your husband or wife to be the go-between person. Being honest with them is important. Also, be patient and know that they may be unaware that they are doing anything wrong. Explain to them how you feel and what is causing you to feel that way.
Also, acknowledge that they may be excited about having grandchildren and want to know that their grandchildren are being taken care of adequately. Furthermore, acknowledge that they are excited for their son or daughter to be married, but afraid they won't be able to be as important to them anymore.
Moreover, figure out your real feelings about the situation. Why do you really feel the way you do about your in-laws? Why does it bother you? Is it because it is truly inappropriate? Do you feel threatened? Maybe discussing it with your husband or wife can give you some insight into why you truly feel the way you do. Then, put yourself in your in-law's shoes. Feel empathy toward your in-law and see if this can give you a new perspective to help you understand their point of view.
Another key point is to support your spouse if they are having trouble dealing with your parents (their in-laws). It's not necessarily helpful to be defensive either when your in-laws hurt your spouse. If their parents, siblings, or relatives are hurting them, ask your spouse how you can support him or her rather than getting angry at your in-laws.
Always listen to the other side-listen to what your in-laws have to say. You will get your turn to speak, so offer them the same respect by listening to what they have to say.
On another note, holidays may be tough because you have several different places to go, so it is helpful to come up with a compromise in this situation. That may be alternating holidays, spending only short amounts of time at each place, or inviting everyone to your house so that you can all be together. However, it is important to not overextend yourself, so compromise if the situation becomes overwhelming, too expensive, too time consuming or too hard to get to every place you need to go. Deciding on a schedule where you can spend equal time with each family is a great compromise, but make sure to let everyone know what you decide, so they won't be shocked when the time comes to split time. This may also be a time when you develop your own family traditions. Keeping your own family traditions with your spouse is most important, especially when holidays are held at your house.
Furthermore, you may have to establish spending limits with your in-laws if you feel gifts and giving has become too outrageous for your taste. Have them check with you before they buy you or your children any high dollar items. If they do not adhere to your wishes, set up consequences for not following your guidelines. If they consistently insist on buying you or your children an overly expensive item, you can let them know you have the right to donate the item to charity if they buy it anyway or return the gift and donate the money to charity.
Dealing with in-laws can sometimes be frustrating, but being open and communicating effectively can reduce stress and problems associated with your in-laws. Leave your comments about ways you have effectively communicated things with your in-laws below. Please let me know if you have any other questions about in-laws as well.
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
Anyway, when dealing with your in-laws it can be difficult because sometimes they can get in your business. For example, they may be telling you how to raise your children or how your marriage should work or telling you how you should clean your house. So in dealing with these things, you should be honest with your in-laws about how you are feeling. Let them know you are hurt by their comments or angry at them for trying to run your life, instead of enlisting your husband or wife to be the go-between person. Being honest with them is important. Also, be patient and know that they may be unaware that they are doing anything wrong. Explain to them how you feel and what is causing you to feel that way.
Also, acknowledge that they may be excited about having grandchildren and want to know that their grandchildren are being taken care of adequately. Furthermore, acknowledge that they are excited for their son or daughter to be married, but afraid they won't be able to be as important to them anymore.
Moreover, figure out your real feelings about the situation. Why do you really feel the way you do about your in-laws? Why does it bother you? Is it because it is truly inappropriate? Do you feel threatened? Maybe discussing it with your husband or wife can give you some insight into why you truly feel the way you do. Then, put yourself in your in-law's shoes. Feel empathy toward your in-law and see if this can give you a new perspective to help you understand their point of view.
Another key point is to support your spouse if they are having trouble dealing with your parents (their in-laws). It's not necessarily helpful to be defensive either when your in-laws hurt your spouse. If their parents, siblings, or relatives are hurting them, ask your spouse how you can support him or her rather than getting angry at your in-laws.
Always listen to the other side-listen to what your in-laws have to say. You will get your turn to speak, so offer them the same respect by listening to what they have to say.
On another note, holidays may be tough because you have several different places to go, so it is helpful to come up with a compromise in this situation. That may be alternating holidays, spending only short amounts of time at each place, or inviting everyone to your house so that you can all be together. However, it is important to not overextend yourself, so compromise if the situation becomes overwhelming, too expensive, too time consuming or too hard to get to every place you need to go. Deciding on a schedule where you can spend equal time with each family is a great compromise, but make sure to let everyone know what you decide, so they won't be shocked when the time comes to split time. This may also be a time when you develop your own family traditions. Keeping your own family traditions with your spouse is most important, especially when holidays are held at your house.
Furthermore, you may have to establish spending limits with your in-laws if you feel gifts and giving has become too outrageous for your taste. Have them check with you before they buy you or your children any high dollar items. If they do not adhere to your wishes, set up consequences for not following your guidelines. If they consistently insist on buying you or your children an overly expensive item, you can let them know you have the right to donate the item to charity if they buy it anyway or return the gift and donate the money to charity.
Dealing with in-laws can sometimes be frustrating, but being open and communicating effectively can reduce stress and problems associated with your in-laws. Leave your comments about ways you have effectively communicated things with your in-laws below. Please let me know if you have any other questions about in-laws as well.
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
211
Some of you may not know, but there is a great resource out there called "211". It is for health and community resources in your area. You simply dial 211 on your phone-just as if you were to dial 411 for information or 911 for an emergency.
211 provides resources for those who cannot afford the things they need. They can assist you with getting clothing, discounted or free doctors and dentist appointments, food boxes, and many more items you may need. It can help you get furniture for a discounted price if you qualify as well. They also have a list of discounted mental health services and substance abuse services available to all who need it too. It can also assist you if you have been a victim of a natural disaster, such as a tornado or flood, and resources if you have been a victim of a fire as well. Also, if your house is going into foreclosure or you are having trouble paying for your mortgage or rent, it can give you resources to aid with those things as well. If you would like information on getting your GED, it can provide you information for this service also. They also have services for discounted or free legal aid if you are going through something that requires that assistance. If you need transportation, they can provide you with information about that service as well. Furthermore, when April comes around and you are dreading your tax payment, call 211 and they can help you find free tax services if you qualify for it. This is just a start to the list of services they provide, so if you are in need of anything or know someone who is, call 211, and they can assist you.
There are all kinds of programs out there to assist people; it's just people don't know about the programs.
Unfortunately, there are people out there that cannot even provide their own basic needs for their family. If you know any of these people, please share 211 with them. If they are looking for mental health services, please have them call me. I have a self-pay rate that is reasonable for those in the area, and have a sliding scale in addition to help work with those who cannot afford that fee.
"A person is a person, no matter how small!"
- Dr. Suess
Check out Tennessee's 211 website: http://www.211tn.com/
211 provides resources for those who cannot afford the things they need. They can assist you with getting clothing, discounted or free doctors and dentist appointments, food boxes, and many more items you may need. It can help you get furniture for a discounted price if you qualify as well. They also have a list of discounted mental health services and substance abuse services available to all who need it too. It can also assist you if you have been a victim of a natural disaster, such as a tornado or flood, and resources if you have been a victim of a fire as well. Also, if your house is going into foreclosure or you are having trouble paying for your mortgage or rent, it can give you resources to aid with those things as well. If you would like information on getting your GED, it can provide you information for this service also. They also have services for discounted or free legal aid if you are going through something that requires that assistance. If you need transportation, they can provide you with information about that service as well. Furthermore, when April comes around and you are dreading your tax payment, call 211 and they can help you find free tax services if you qualify for it. This is just a start to the list of services they provide, so if you are in need of anything or know someone who is, call 211, and they can assist you.
There are all kinds of programs out there to assist people; it's just people don't know about the programs.
Unfortunately, there are people out there that cannot even provide their own basic needs for their family. If you know any of these people, please share 211 with them. If they are looking for mental health services, please have them call me. I have a self-pay rate that is reasonable for those in the area, and have a sliding scale in addition to help work with those who cannot afford that fee.
"A person is a person, no matter how small!"
- Dr. Suess
Check out Tennessee's 211 website: http://www.211tn.com/
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Before You Say, "I Do"
We all know divorce rates in the U.S. are way too high! What you may not know is that if you do not have premarital counseling, you have a one in four chance of making your marraige last.
Premarital counseling can reduce the risk of divorce by about 30% by educating you on how to make your marriage happier. It helps you strengthen your relationship and helps you prepare for conflicts you may encounter during your marriage. The stress of marriage can be overwhelming, but premarital counseling helps you prepare for it.
You can get premarital counseling from pastors at your church or counselors in the community.
If you need premarital counseling or have questions about premarital counseling, please contact me.
"The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes."
Amy Grant
www.beasleycounselingservices.com
Premarital counseling can reduce the risk of divorce by about 30% by educating you on how to make your marriage happier. It helps you strengthen your relationship and helps you prepare for conflicts you may encounter during your marriage. The stress of marriage can be overwhelming, but premarital counseling helps you prepare for it.
You can get premarital counseling from pastors at your church or counselors in the community.
If you need premarital counseling or have questions about premarital counseling, please contact me.
"The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes."
Amy Grant
www.beasleycounselingservices.com
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Fearing Social Situations
There are times in all of our lives when we feel anxious. When you are going into a new place or meeting someone for the first time, might be an example of a time when you have felt nervous.
For some people though the anxiety can be extremely overwhelming and interfere with their everyday life activities. For example, it may be hard to eat in front of others or sign a credit card receipt in front of the cashier because it provokes an extreme amount of anxiety. These people have something called Social Anxiety. People with social anxiety have excessive fear in social situations to the point that they avoid them. The avoidance also interferes with a person's normal routine or relationships as well.
If you believe you are someone you know has Social Anxiety Disorder, please contact me for more information.
People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. ~George Bernard Shaw
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
For some people though the anxiety can be extremely overwhelming and interfere with their everyday life activities. For example, it may be hard to eat in front of others or sign a credit card receipt in front of the cashier because it provokes an extreme amount of anxiety. These people have something called Social Anxiety. People with social anxiety have excessive fear in social situations to the point that they avoid them. The avoidance also interferes with a person's normal routine or relationships as well.
If you believe you are someone you know has Social Anxiety Disorder, please contact me for more information.
People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. ~George Bernard Shaw
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I'm Seeing Double
Would you be surprised to find out you are having twins? Well, my sister-in-law is pregnant with twins and they will be here soon, so it's got me thinking more about twins. She is having fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, which means genetically, they will be no more alike than other siblings. First of all, I cannot imagine how overwhelmed she must feel and the possibility of fears running through her head. She is a stronger woman than I, because I would not be as calm and collected as she seems.
So since I cannot fathom the thought having twins myself, I thought I would pay tribute to those of you who have twins with a lighthearted expression of how great it is to have twins.
First of all with twins, you will be able get in more exercise time. You will be running around changing diapers and outfits and feeding the babies x2, so you will be in such good shape! When they get older, you will also be running around chasing two kids, so you can throw out that gym membership, you will have your own gym at your house.
The next positive is you get to do everything twice! I guess that means you will have a good routine down because when you change one diaper, you can just turn around and change the other diaper. You will also get to repeat yourself twice, so if you don't get it right the first time, there is always another chance!
Next, you will get to shop more often. With twins, you will constantly be having to go to the store to pick up more diapers and everything else you forgot to get on the last trip because you will constantly be running out of everything. With this, I guess you will be more organized too, so you don't have to make a trip to the store everyday to pick up whatever you forgot the last time. Also, when doing a little research about twins or multiples, I found out there are many great deals out there for parents of multiples. You may have to search for some of them, but don't be afraid to ask about them either!
Oh, the praise you will get from having twins! Everyone will think you are fantastic because you are able to keep up with two quickly growing children at the same time! You will also have plenty to talk about with others, since you now have two kids reaching milestones at the same general time. You will also have much to laugh about. Not only will you be able to laugh at your adorable twins, but you will also be able to laugh at some of the things others ask you about your twins, such as, "Are you twins fraternal or identical?"-when you have a boy and a girl.
Another exciting thing about having twins is most people will stop asking you when you are having another child. It's pretty busy around a house with twins, so most people assume you've got your hands full at this point.
Your twins will also be able to entertain each other most of the time, so you can get other much needed things done around the house and get shopping the shopping done.
You will also have your own support community for twins or multiples. The twins community is unique and only certain people are allowed in it! People in communities share advice and support one another, and the twins community does the same. There is actually a A National Organization of Mothers with Twins Club. You can look it up to find out more information.
Possibly the best thing about having twins is you get so much love! Holding two babies in your arms and getting so much love and cuddle time might be the best feeling in the world!
Hope you enjoyed my version of the best things about twins. If you know someone who has twins, feel free to share this blog with them.
So since I cannot fathom the thought having twins myself, I thought I would pay tribute to those of you who have twins with a lighthearted expression of how great it is to have twins.
First of all with twins, you will be able get in more exercise time. You will be running around changing diapers and outfits and feeding the babies x2, so you will be in such good shape! When they get older, you will also be running around chasing two kids, so you can throw out that gym membership, you will have your own gym at your house.
The next positive is you get to do everything twice! I guess that means you will have a good routine down because when you change one diaper, you can just turn around and change the other diaper. You will also get to repeat yourself twice, so if you don't get it right the first time, there is always another chance!
Next, you will get to shop more often. With twins, you will constantly be having to go to the store to pick up more diapers and everything else you forgot to get on the last trip because you will constantly be running out of everything. With this, I guess you will be more organized too, so you don't have to make a trip to the store everyday to pick up whatever you forgot the last time. Also, when doing a little research about twins or multiples, I found out there are many great deals out there for parents of multiples. You may have to search for some of them, but don't be afraid to ask about them either!
Oh, the praise you will get from having twins! Everyone will think you are fantastic because you are able to keep up with two quickly growing children at the same time! You will also have plenty to talk about with others, since you now have two kids reaching milestones at the same general time. You will also have much to laugh about. Not only will you be able to laugh at your adorable twins, but you will also be able to laugh at some of the things others ask you about your twins, such as, "Are you twins fraternal or identical?"-when you have a boy and a girl.
Another exciting thing about having twins is most people will stop asking you when you are having another child. It's pretty busy around a house with twins, so most people assume you've got your hands full at this point.
Your twins will also be able to entertain each other most of the time, so you can get other much needed things done around the house and get shopping the shopping done.
You will also have your own support community for twins or multiples. The twins community is unique and only certain people are allowed in it! People in communities share advice and support one another, and the twins community does the same. There is actually a A National Organization of Mothers with Twins Club. You can look it up to find out more information.
Possibly the best thing about having twins is you get so much love! Holding two babies in your arms and getting so much love and cuddle time might be the best feeling in the world!
Hope you enjoyed my version of the best things about twins. If you know someone who has twins, feel free to share this blog with them.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Depression Hurts
We all go through times of feeling down and sadness is a normal aspect of life, especially through struggles and disappointments. Many people also use the term depression very loosely, but depression is more than just feeling down and feelings of sadness.
Depression interferes with your everyday life, your ability to work, eat, and have fun. It is a feeling of helplessness or even worthlessness that is so intense, one feels as if there is no relief from the feelings.
Some signs of depression include: not sleeping enough or sleeping too much, feelings of hopelessness, loss of appetite or uncontrollable eating, or thoughts that life is not worth living-thoughts of suicide or harming oneself. Also, feelings of helplessness, weight changes, irritablity, self-loating or guilt, or unexplainable aches are also signs of depression. Symptoms of depression vary from person to person, but those liste previously are some symptoms someone with depression might experience. However, that is not an all encompassing list (we would be here all day!). Again, these symptoms may be a part of your normal life and ordinary feelings of sadness, but if these feelings are stronger than you can handle or feel bigger than your normal feelings of sadness, you may be experiencing depression. When the feelings begin to feel overwhelming, you may want to find help to deal with those feelings.
Some risk factors of depression include loneliness, recent stressful life events, marital or relationship problems, childhood trauma, and unemployment, among others. Understanding where the depression comes from, will help in the treatment process.
It is also important to note that depression is a risk factor for suicide. The despair that goes along with depression may make one believe there is no way out other than suicide. Thoughts of death and suicide should always be taken seriously. Thinking or talking about suicide is not just a warning sign; it should be taken seriously in every circumstance.
First, some warning signs of suicide, and then I will get to what you should do if you or someone you know is experiencing these signs. Warning signs of suicide: talking about killing oneself, a preoccupation with death, telling others goodbye without a known reason, and statements such as, "Everyone would be better off without me." Now, if you are having thoughts of suicide, know someone who is having thoughts of suicide or exhibits any of these warning signs, please seek professional help immediately. You can call 1-800-273-TALK (8225) or, locally, you can call the Crisis Center at 615-244-7444.
Depression may look different for men and women. Rates for depression among women are twice as high as for men. This is due partly to horomonal differences. As far as symptoms of depression, women experience more guilt and overeating with depression. Women may also suffer from "baby blues" and postpartum depression after giving birth to their baby, which usually occurs within 6 months of child birth.
There are many pathways to overcoming depression, especially after understanding the underlying cause to the depression. Also, what works for one person, may not work for another, so be patient in finding what works for you. I know depression can be overwhelming, but getting help for your depression can make a huge impact on your life. Here are some lifestyle changes you can make, which may help your depression. Lifestyle changes: build a support system filled with supportive relationships, eat a healthy diet, and learn relaxation techniques.
Seek professional help when advice from your family and friends are not helping you overcome your depression. Counseling and/or medication may be the next step to managing your depression.
I appologize for the long post, but depression is such a widespread illness, I needed to take the time to talk in detail about the subject matter. Please feel free to contact me if you have any other questions or need any other services. Also, leave a comment if you would like!
"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today."
Dale Carnegie
http://www.beasleycounselingservices.com/
Depression interferes with your everyday life, your ability to work, eat, and have fun. It is a feeling of helplessness or even worthlessness that is so intense, one feels as if there is no relief from the feelings.
Some signs of depression include: not sleeping enough or sleeping too much, feelings of hopelessness, loss of appetite or uncontrollable eating, or thoughts that life is not worth living-thoughts of suicide or harming oneself. Also, feelings of helplessness, weight changes, irritablity, self-loating or guilt, or unexplainable aches are also signs of depression. Symptoms of depression vary from person to person, but those liste previously are some symptoms someone with depression might experience. However, that is not an all encompassing list (we would be here all day!). Again, these symptoms may be a part of your normal life and ordinary feelings of sadness, but if these feelings are stronger than you can handle or feel bigger than your normal feelings of sadness, you may be experiencing depression. When the feelings begin to feel overwhelming, you may want to find help to deal with those feelings.
Some risk factors of depression include loneliness, recent stressful life events, marital or relationship problems, childhood trauma, and unemployment, among others. Understanding where the depression comes from, will help in the treatment process.
It is also important to note that depression is a risk factor for suicide. The despair that goes along with depression may make one believe there is no way out other than suicide. Thoughts of death and suicide should always be taken seriously. Thinking or talking about suicide is not just a warning sign; it should be taken seriously in every circumstance.
First, some warning signs of suicide, and then I will get to what you should do if you or someone you know is experiencing these signs. Warning signs of suicide: talking about killing oneself, a preoccupation with death, telling others goodbye without a known reason, and statements such as, "Everyone would be better off without me." Now, if you are having thoughts of suicide, know someone who is having thoughts of suicide or exhibits any of these warning signs, please seek professional help immediately. You can call 1-800-273-TALK (8225) or, locally, you can call the Crisis Center at 615-244-7444.
Depression may look different for men and women. Rates for depression among women are twice as high as for men. This is due partly to horomonal differences. As far as symptoms of depression, women experience more guilt and overeating with depression. Women may also suffer from "baby blues" and postpartum depression after giving birth to their baby, which usually occurs within 6 months of child birth.
There are many pathways to overcoming depression, especially after understanding the underlying cause to the depression. Also, what works for one person, may not work for another, so be patient in finding what works for you. I know depression can be overwhelming, but getting help for your depression can make a huge impact on your life. Here are some lifestyle changes you can make, which may help your depression. Lifestyle changes: build a support system filled with supportive relationships, eat a healthy diet, and learn relaxation techniques.
Seek professional help when advice from your family and friends are not helping you overcome your depression. Counseling and/or medication may be the next step to managing your depression.
I appologize for the long post, but depression is such a widespread illness, I needed to take the time to talk in detail about the subject matter. Please feel free to contact me if you have any other questions or need any other services. Also, leave a comment if you would like!
"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today."
Dale Carnegie
http://www.beasleycounselingservices.com/
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Do You Hear What I Hear?
I believe listening is taken for granted way too often in our society today. During a conversation, we want to quickly jump in and interject every immediate thought that comes to our mind. However, listening is a vital part to communicating with others. We must first be able to hear what the other person is saying before responding to them adequately. Also, we must understand what we heard before properly responding to the conversation and not jumping to conclusions about what the other person is saying.
Maybe we take listening for granted because it requires too much concentration, but isn't it worth it to hear and understand what someone else is saying before responding? Maybe it requires us to put ourselves in someone else's shoes, which is difficult to do, but if we take the time to talk to another person, shouldn't we give them that respect? It is difficult, but wouldn't relationships be so much better if we took the time to actually hear what others are saying?
Listening helps us to understand the person we are talking to better. It will also help us solve conflicts sooner and with less stress.
Listening requires both verbal and nonverbal skills: Nonverbal skills include body language-eye contact, facial expressions, etc., which includes both our own body language and observing the body language of the other person in the conversation. Verbal skills include using words and phrases that the other person has previously used, paraphrasing what they have said, summarizing their points, etc.
Hope this helps. Let me know if any of the skills help you out in the future.
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
Maybe we take listening for granted because it requires too much concentration, but isn't it worth it to hear and understand what someone else is saying before responding? Maybe it requires us to put ourselves in someone else's shoes, which is difficult to do, but if we take the time to talk to another person, shouldn't we give them that respect? It is difficult, but wouldn't relationships be so much better if we took the time to actually hear what others are saying?
Listening helps us to understand the person we are talking to better. It will also help us solve conflicts sooner and with less stress.
Listening requires both verbal and nonverbal skills: Nonverbal skills include body language-eye contact, facial expressions, etc., which includes both our own body language and observing the body language of the other person in the conversation. Verbal skills include using words and phrases that the other person has previously used, paraphrasing what they have said, summarizing their points, etc.
"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." -Ernest Hemingway
Hope this helps. Let me know if any of the skills help you out in the future.
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
Thursday, June 30, 2011
SOS
I wanted to share some information about a group I lead: Survivors of Suicide. This group is to help those who have lost a family member or friend to suicide. Survivors of Suicide have been left behind not only by the person who died, but also the person who choose to take their life. Guilt and anger, among other, emotions are experienced by those that have been left behind by the suicide. This group helps members find hope for the future and learn how to heal through this very difficult time.
I myself am a survivor of suicide, so the group is very special to me. My father completed suicide and also killed my mother the same night. Not only is the group a way for me to give back to those who are going through the loss of their loved one, but it also allows me to learn things about healing along the way.
If you know someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, please have them contact me in order to find resources available to them in their area, so they may be blessed with healing as well.
Another resource for those of you in Tennessee is www.tspn.org The website lists SOS groups in Tennessee and provides other information that may be helpful to you and your friends.
In spite of this gloomy topic, I hope you have a wonderful week.
I myself am a survivor of suicide, so the group is very special to me. My father completed suicide and also killed my mother the same night. Not only is the group a way for me to give back to those who are going through the loss of their loved one, but it also allows me to learn things about healing along the way.
If you know someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, please have them contact me in order to find resources available to them in their area, so they may be blessed with healing as well.
Another resource for those of you in Tennessee is www.tspn.org The website lists SOS groups in Tennessee and provides other information that may be helpful to you and your friends.
In spite of this gloomy topic, I hope you have a wonderful week.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Choices, Choices, Choices
We all have choices in life, but when it comes down to choosing, sometimes things can be a little more difficult than expected. Some decisions are simple, but others are harder and need more thought and preparation. Sometimes the choices we have to choose from are both equally appealing, so it makes the choose more difficult...such as cookies n cream ice cream or chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. If you know me, you know that is a difficult choice! There are also choices, which have equal drawbacks, which then makes the decision that much more difficult.
So, when faced with these tough decisions, what is the best way to go about them? First, recognize the problem or choice you have to make. Next, gather all the information you can about all the decision needing to be made. Try not to make the problem or choice into something more than it is. Stay focused on the decision you are having to make now, and take it one decision at a time. The next step is to look at past situations similar to this one and figure out what has worked in the past. Then generate all other possible solutions to the issue at hand. Don't limit yourself here. Think of all the possible solutions, even if they may be unrealistic. Now that you have named all the possible solutions you can think of, begin to narrow down the choices even more. Eliminate the ones that will not work for you or you will not use to come to the conclusion you are looking for. Now is the time to pick the ones that are most realistic to you and ones you can implement most effectively. Drawbacks should also be assessed at this time with each of the choices. Finally, after determining the best option, implement and test out the best choice you have come up with. If it doesn't work, go back to the drawing board and implement the next best choice. Also, remember to be positive throughout the entire process. If not, you may not be completely objective to making the best choice possible. Good luck!
I hope this is helpful if you have any tough choices you are trying to make. If you would like to share how this blog helped you, please post a comment.
Thank you for tuning in and reading my blog. My hope is that you get something out of it, so if you are not, please let me know, and I will try to adjust accordingly. Also, if you have any topics you would like to discuss, please let me know those as well.
http://www.beasleycounselingservices.com/
So, when faced with these tough decisions, what is the best way to go about them? First, recognize the problem or choice you have to make. Next, gather all the information you can about all the decision needing to be made. Try not to make the problem or choice into something more than it is. Stay focused on the decision you are having to make now, and take it one decision at a time. The next step is to look at past situations similar to this one and figure out what has worked in the past. Then generate all other possible solutions to the issue at hand. Don't limit yourself here. Think of all the possible solutions, even if they may be unrealistic. Now that you have named all the possible solutions you can think of, begin to narrow down the choices even more. Eliminate the ones that will not work for you or you will not use to come to the conclusion you are looking for. Now is the time to pick the ones that are most realistic to you and ones you can implement most effectively. Drawbacks should also be assessed at this time with each of the choices. Finally, after determining the best option, implement and test out the best choice you have come up with. If it doesn't work, go back to the drawing board and implement the next best choice. Also, remember to be positive throughout the entire process. If not, you may not be completely objective to making the best choice possible. Good luck!
I hope this is helpful if you have any tough choices you are trying to make. If you would like to share how this blog helped you, please post a comment.
Thank you for tuning in and reading my blog. My hope is that you get something out of it, so if you are not, please let me know, and I will try to adjust accordingly. Also, if you have any topics you would like to discuss, please let me know those as well.
http://www.beasleycounselingservices.com/
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Playing Around
Play therapy is a technique used mainly with children, who have had change in their lives or a traumatic event in their lives in order to express their feelings appropriately. Children do not have the capability to express themselves with words. Their language is communicated through play since they don't have the means to communicate with words. With play therapy, children are naturally able to express themselves and begin the healing process safely. It shows children that they are being helped and understood in a safe way.
It is helpful for children who are dealing with parental conflict or divorce, those who have been traumatized, children who have been adopted, those suffering from loss or death, children who have been hospitalized, those who have been abused, children who have been diagnosed with ADHD (see blog below), and those who have been in accidents. Signs your child may be showing a need for you to seek play therapy them: excessive anger, excessive sadness, aggressive behavior, trouble separating from primary caretaker, excessive shyness, behavioral issues, low self esteem, learning problems, sleep problems, bathroom problems, acting out age inappropriate sexual behaviors, difficulty adjusting to change, or other physical changes that cannot be diagnosed by a doctor.
That is a quick overview of play therapy. For more information check out the Association for Play Therapy at http://www.a4pt.org/. I have training in play therapy, so if you think your child may need counseling, please contact me at brittany_dyer@yahoo.com.
It is helpful for children who are dealing with parental conflict or divorce, those who have been traumatized, children who have been adopted, those suffering from loss or death, children who have been hospitalized, those who have been abused, children who have been diagnosed with ADHD (see blog below), and those who have been in accidents. Signs your child may be showing a need for you to seek play therapy them: excessive anger, excessive sadness, aggressive behavior, trouble separating from primary caretaker, excessive shyness, behavioral issues, low self esteem, learning problems, sleep problems, bathroom problems, acting out age inappropriate sexual behaviors, difficulty adjusting to change, or other physical changes that cannot be diagnosed by a doctor.
That is a quick overview of play therapy. For more information check out the Association for Play Therapy at http://www.a4pt.org/. I have training in play therapy, so if you think your child may need counseling, please contact me at brittany_dyer@yahoo.com.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Truth or Fad?
I have been doing some thinking about ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) over the last few weeks...Is it a fad diagnosis? Is it over diagnosed? or does everyone who is diagnosed ADHD really have ADHD?
So what does it mean to be ADHD? Does it mean you can't sit still in your chair long enough to write a blog? or you can't follow instructions in order to complete a task? Does it mean that you are a trouble-maker or undisciplined? Maybe, but maybe not...
Let's look at what it means to be ADHD. First of all, the signs must be present before age seven. So if the signs are not present before age 7, then you can be ruled out for being diagnosed as ADHD. However, it's important to distinguish what is "normal" childhood behavior and what may be signs of ADHD. Also, if only a few of the signs are observable, it's probably not ADHD either. Furthermore, if the symptoms do not appear in multiple settings, it's probably not going to be ADHD. A child with ADHD is going to show many symptoms across all settings in their life-home, school, church, and in play just to name a few.
With that being said, lets look further. Not all children with ADHD are hyperactive; they may only have attention problems without the hyperactivity piece. Here's a tricky part: children with ADHD may be able to concentrate on activities they enjoy, but they will still have trouble focusing on tasks within that activity. An important fact to remember with children with ADHD is that even though they may not be able to sit still, that does not mean they are a trouble-maker or are undisciplined. They are not acting this way on purpose, they are just not able to focus or pay attention for long periods of time. Also, children with ADHD will not outgrow their disorder; it does continue into adulthood. There are, however, treatments to help manage their diagnosis. Medication is one option for managing ADHD, but it may not always be the best option for every person. There are other options to help minimize the symptoms of ADHD, including educating yourself or your child about the disorder. Way to go! You are already taking an active step at managing and minimizing symptoms of ADHD! There are also many resources you can take advantage of in school as well as outside of school to help minimize symptoms, such as counseling, special testing, and an IEP (Individualized Education Program) at school to help modify their work during school. Your child's pediatrician and doctor may be able to help as well. Also, a proper diet and exercise may help with symptoms of ADHD.
The reason for my concern about this topic is that is hard to distinguish between children who have symptoms of ADHD or do they have other issues going on. Just because a child is inattentive or hyperactive does not mean he or she has ADHD. There can be certain medical problems that present like ADHD and even stressful life events can look like ADHD. Learning disabilities, such as reading or motor skill problems can also look like ADHD. Psychological disorders, such as anxiety or bipolar disorder can oftentimes look like ADHD as well.
By saying all this, I want to encourage you if you or your child displays symptoms of ADHD or someone mentions to you that you or your child may have ADHD, seek a professional to get an accurate diagnosis and rule out other possibilities that may be showing up as signs similar to those of ADHD. By doing so, you will be able to get the most accurate treatment for whatever is causing the symptoms being experienced.
So what does it mean to be ADHD? Does it mean you can't sit still in your chair long enough to write a blog? or you can't follow instructions in order to complete a task? Does it mean that you are a trouble-maker or undisciplined? Maybe, but maybe not...
Let's look at what it means to be ADHD. First of all, the signs must be present before age seven. So if the signs are not present before age 7, then you can be ruled out for being diagnosed as ADHD. However, it's important to distinguish what is "normal" childhood behavior and what may be signs of ADHD. Also, if only a few of the signs are observable, it's probably not ADHD either. Furthermore, if the symptoms do not appear in multiple settings, it's probably not going to be ADHD. A child with ADHD is going to show many symptoms across all settings in their life-home, school, church, and in play just to name a few.
With that being said, lets look further. Not all children with ADHD are hyperactive; they may only have attention problems without the hyperactivity piece. Here's a tricky part: children with ADHD may be able to concentrate on activities they enjoy, but they will still have trouble focusing on tasks within that activity. An important fact to remember with children with ADHD is that even though they may not be able to sit still, that does not mean they are a trouble-maker or are undisciplined. They are not acting this way on purpose, they are just not able to focus or pay attention for long periods of time. Also, children with ADHD will not outgrow their disorder; it does continue into adulthood. There are, however, treatments to help manage their diagnosis. Medication is one option for managing ADHD, but it may not always be the best option for every person. There are other options to help minimize the symptoms of ADHD, including educating yourself or your child about the disorder. Way to go! You are already taking an active step at managing and minimizing symptoms of ADHD! There are also many resources you can take advantage of in school as well as outside of school to help minimize symptoms, such as counseling, special testing, and an IEP (Individualized Education Program) at school to help modify their work during school. Your child's pediatrician and doctor may be able to help as well. Also, a proper diet and exercise may help with symptoms of ADHD.
The reason for my concern about this topic is that is hard to distinguish between children who have symptoms of ADHD or do they have other issues going on. Just because a child is inattentive or hyperactive does not mean he or she has ADHD. There can be certain medical problems that present like ADHD and even stressful life events can look like ADHD. Learning disabilities, such as reading or motor skill problems can also look like ADHD. Psychological disorders, such as anxiety or bipolar disorder can oftentimes look like ADHD as well.
By saying all this, I want to encourage you if you or your child displays symptoms of ADHD or someone mentions to you that you or your child may have ADHD, seek a professional to get an accurate diagnosis and rule out other possibilities that may be showing up as signs similar to those of ADHD. By doing so, you will be able to get the most accurate treatment for whatever is causing the symptoms being experienced.
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." — Henry David Thoreau
I hope that this quote encourages you, no matter what your circumstances, you are a unique individual that deserves the same respect everyone else out there does.
If you have any other comments about ADHD, I would love to hear them!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Committing to Marriage
"Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work." ~Author unknown
The definition of a marriage is the social institution in which a man and a woman establish their decision to live as a husband and a wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, or by other means, according to Webster. However, those of us who are married, know there is much more to marriage than this definition. If you are married, or even in a relationship, you know marriage involves thoughtfulness of another person and sometimes even conflict. Marriages take more than just the definition of a social institution and legal commitments; marriages take energy and work!
A marriage is a commitment both parties have to work at. However, making time for your spouse can be hard, especially if you have children. Marriage has to not only be a commitment, but a priority in your life in order for it to work.
Now, how do you keep your connection with your spouse or even deepen that connection in order to make that connection solid?
One place to start, especially if your marriage is even a little bit rocky (and even if its not), is to talk about your expectations of a marriage. What does it mean to have a connection with your spouse? These are also good to review often to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page with regards to what your marriage should look like. Make sure to be honest with your spouse about your expectations.
Be positive and notice the positives of your spouse. No one wants to be around someone who is negative or nagging all the time. Make sure to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them and the things they are doing to help out. Sometimes this means overlooking some of the things our spouse does that drive us nuts!
Also, make sure you are having fun! Dates nights are always great. It may take a little effort, but it will allow that much needed alone time with your spouse to rekindle the those feelings you had when you first got married. Once you are married, that does not mean you have to stop dating. It just means you date the same person for the rest of your life.
Reading books are also another great way to deepen your relationship with your spouse. You can read books about relationships or even books about other topics and discuss those as well. One of my favorite books is, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is a great book to purchase and keep around your house and use to refresh your memory often too.
Do you have any other great marriage books you would like to share? Please do so by commenting below.
Marriage is worth the time and effort it takes to make it work. It can even be exciting too, but you do have to put forth the effort to make it fun and exciting. You have to choose to make your marriage work.
http://www.beasleycounselingservices.com/
The definition of a marriage is the social institution in which a man and a woman establish their decision to live as a husband and a wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, or by other means, according to Webster. However, those of us who are married, know there is much more to marriage than this definition. If you are married, or even in a relationship, you know marriage involves thoughtfulness of another person and sometimes even conflict. Marriages take more than just the definition of a social institution and legal commitments; marriages take energy and work!
A marriage is a commitment both parties have to work at. However, making time for your spouse can be hard, especially if you have children. Marriage has to not only be a commitment, but a priority in your life in order for it to work.
Now, how do you keep your connection with your spouse or even deepen that connection in order to make that connection solid?
One place to start, especially if your marriage is even a little bit rocky (and even if its not), is to talk about your expectations of a marriage. What does it mean to have a connection with your spouse? These are also good to review often to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page with regards to what your marriage should look like. Make sure to be honest with your spouse about your expectations.
Be positive and notice the positives of your spouse. No one wants to be around someone who is negative or nagging all the time. Make sure to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them and the things they are doing to help out. Sometimes this means overlooking some of the things our spouse does that drive us nuts!
Also, make sure you are having fun! Dates nights are always great. It may take a little effort, but it will allow that much needed alone time with your spouse to rekindle the those feelings you had when you first got married. Once you are married, that does not mean you have to stop dating. It just means you date the same person for the rest of your life.
Reading books are also another great way to deepen your relationship with your spouse. You can read books about relationships or even books about other topics and discuss those as well. One of my favorite books is, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is a great book to purchase and keep around your house and use to refresh your memory often too.
Do you have any other great marriage books you would like to share? Please do so by commenting below.
Marriage is worth the time and effort it takes to make it work. It can even be exciting too, but you do have to put forth the effort to make it fun and exciting. You have to choose to make your marriage work.
http://www.beasleycounselingservices.com/
Sunday, May 29, 2011
In Need of a Change
You may be wondering, "What exactly is counseling?" or "Is counseling for everyone?" Before we talk about what counseling is, let's first determine what counseling is not. First of all, counseling does not mean you are crazy or you get a Go Directly to the Psych Hospital Card Without Passing Go. It also does not mean you are weak or damaged. Furthermore, it does not mean that you will be analyzed by your counselor when you come for counseling either.
So what does counseling mean? It means you and your counselor develop a relationship, and then you can safely begin to work through the issues you are dealing with without being criticized or judged. It can offer you a new perspective and help you express your feelings openly. You can learn to develop communication skills to deal with conflict as well. Also, it can help you deal with the painfulness of your past by working through the loss or hurt you have experienced. Counseling empowers individuals to courageously face their fears and work through those stuck places in their lives.
You may come to counseling for advice, but a counselor will help you to work through your experiences. Counseling allows you to develop more positive ways of dealing with the obstacles in your life. Your thoughts and feelings can be heard and understood by another person. Through this process, you use your own inner resources to change your circumstances.
Long term benefits can be developed from counseling as well. Counseling can help you become more resilient emotionally and manage stress more effectively.
With this being said, I believe counseling is for everyone. No matter how big or small the life circumstance is you are dealing with, counseling can help you be heard and aid you in making your life the best it can be.
Now take a moment and ask yourself, "Do I need a change?"
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
So what does counseling mean? It means you and your counselor develop a relationship, and then you can safely begin to work through the issues you are dealing with without being criticized or judged. It can offer you a new perspective and help you express your feelings openly. You can learn to develop communication skills to deal with conflict as well. Also, it can help you deal with the painfulness of your past by working through the loss or hurt you have experienced. Counseling empowers individuals to courageously face their fears and work through those stuck places in their lives.
You may come to counseling for advice, but a counselor will help you to work through your experiences. Counseling allows you to develop more positive ways of dealing with the obstacles in your life. Your thoughts and feelings can be heard and understood by another person. Through this process, you use your own inner resources to change your circumstances.
Long term benefits can be developed from counseling as well. Counseling can help you become more resilient emotionally and manage stress more effectively.
With this being said, I believe counseling is for everyone. No matter how big or small the life circumstance is you are dealing with, counseling can help you be heard and aid you in making your life the best it can be.
Now take a moment and ask yourself, "Do I need a change?"
brittany_dyer@yahoo.com
Friday, May 20, 2011
What's in a Name?
First of all, I want to thank you for visiting my site. I am hoping you will get something out of it each time you visit here. If there is something you need, please feel free to comment, and I will try my best to help out in whatever way I can. My hope is that you find some encouragement in this blog.
Now, you may be wondering why I chose to name my blog as it is, "Meet Me Where You Are." First off, I have to thank my sister-in-law for helping me choose a name. Furthermore, as a counselor, I meet people where they are in order to help them grow as a person. So all I ask of you when coming to my site, is just meet me wherever it is you are in life. You cannot grow or improve yourself if you are not being your true self to begin with. Celebrate who you are without trying to be someone you are not. So, meet me here, but meet me where you are.
This blog is intended for you to celebrate yourself, but my hope is that you will learn something about yourself along the way as well. The posts may not be limited to counseling, but you will see throughout this blog that my passion in helping others grow and improve their well-being.
My counseling practice includes working with children, adolescents, parenting, individuals, couples, and families, so you can expect to see all of these topics addressed in these entries. I hope you will enjoy, and I hope you learn along the way also.
I hope you join me through this journey of life as you Meet Me Where You Are.
Now, you may be wondering why I chose to name my blog as it is, "Meet Me Where You Are." First off, I have to thank my sister-in-law for helping me choose a name. Furthermore, as a counselor, I meet people where they are in order to help them grow as a person. So all I ask of you when coming to my site, is just meet me wherever it is you are in life. You cannot grow or improve yourself if you are not being your true self to begin with. Celebrate who you are without trying to be someone you are not. So, meet me here, but meet me where you are.
This blog is intended for you to celebrate yourself, but my hope is that you will learn something about yourself along the way as well. The posts may not be limited to counseling, but you will see throughout this blog that my passion in helping others grow and improve their well-being.
My counseling practice includes working with children, adolescents, parenting, individuals, couples, and families, so you can expect to see all of these topics addressed in these entries. I hope you will enjoy, and I hope you learn along the way also.
I hope you join me through this journey of life as you Meet Me Where You Are.
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